There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize