i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
