You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
