32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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