I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
