You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
