No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
