you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
