How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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