why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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