But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
