i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
