you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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