That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
