Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
