Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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