does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm at about main and main street
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
