Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
ttyl tear gas
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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