Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize