I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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