My hand turned me down
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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