I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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