you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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