Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
COCAINE IS GR8
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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