I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
