Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
