Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I need moral support for this bender
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
