i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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