So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
