It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
