The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
