She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
