One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
