I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
