she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
