never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She made me pour olive oil on her.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
