so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
