she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
