You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
