Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
