It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
