I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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