HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
