you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
