Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
As shirtless as possible
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
