Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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