A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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