no, he came in my armpit
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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