Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
