My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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