I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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