My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
