My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
