from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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