In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
