Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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