Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
