But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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