I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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