i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
