I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You had me at "let me see your balls"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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