i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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