We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
