I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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