so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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